Stories alone won't change structures and behaviors
An interview series with Gender and Diversity experts across sectors in Switzerland. How do they relate to their own gender? What are the current challenges and opportunities they see and what inspires them? The aim of this series is to bring awareness to gender and diversity work and inspire further action towards creating inclusive workplaces in Switzerland.
Our third interviewee, Stefanie Hetjens, is based in Zürich and tells us what gender equality work looks like from the angle of transgender people and how Covid-19 has affected her business.
Stefanie Hetjens, former President of the Transgender Network Switzerland, professional coach, facilitator and trainer living in Zürich. Stefanie is designing and delivering transgender awareness and diversity training for employers and companies across Switzerland.
When and how did you realize that gender plays a role in your own life?
Being 3 to 5 years old I became aware that I did not fit into the gender role I had been assigned to at birth. Throughout my life gender was always a big topic within me as well as in the interactions I had with others. Already from a very young age children play the role of either a boy or a girl and I was always in between. I fit in well with the boys as well as the girl cliques. At some point I decided to play solely the man’s role and hid all other aspects of my character. However, after some years I realized that this didn’t work out...
How does your own gender affect your work?
When I was 29, I came-out and transitioned. Back then I was an account manager in advertising and the face of the company to our customers. Before presenting as a woman, anything I would say in meetings was believed. After my transition, people needed twice the time to believe that what I was saying is worthwhile. At the end this was a very good learning process. It made me reflect on what I can do and why it’s important. The whole process made me grow confident of myself.
In general, I'm standing a bit outside of some of the debates between men and women. I am a woman, but I am also trans, so I have a lot of experiences other people simply don’t have. This makes me a bit more neutral and I always position myself in a neutral space. It is important for me not to take any sides and because of this I am not perceived as a threat. Still sadly, if there is a man confirming what I am saying, it helps to get the message across.
Another point I want to mention is that companies often ask trans people to come in and tell their story hoping that this would lead to employees being sensitized to the issue. But this is not enough. When I do transgender awareness trainings I do tell my story but that is not my main point. A story needs to be coupled with expertise and concrete tools on how to create more inclusive workplaces. You cannot expect that a story alone will change deeply-rooted behaviours and structures.
What is your biggest challenge in this work?
We must widen the discussions around gender equality to be really inclusive. The gender topic is so easily perceived being about women or, in the case of my work, about trans people. In reality being stuck inside strict gender stereotypes is very hurtful for all humans. So I’d much rather see this topic being about extended gender diversity because that is what it ultimately is.
I want to increase the understanding that gender is not a fixed, clear and determined thing as it may seem. Many people have never reflected on this. I often ask participants in trainings: How do you know which gender you have? It always results in fruitful conversations and aha-moments. Our message to companies is that besides cis women and cis men, a third group of people are propably exist within your workforce: 2-5% of the population is trans, so if you have 100 employees you most likely will have some trans employees. They have very valuable experience when it comes to increasing understanding and collaboration in a team between the two traditional genders.
I have noticed that in companies the transgender discussion very quickly reduces to the question about bathrooms. This is a start, but in reality for almost two thirds of trans people this is not an important priority. Besides, other benefits of introducing gender neutral bathrooms are forgotten. For example, extended privacy through completely closed stalls, or baby changing spaces accessible to all.
What inspires you in your daily work?
I want to make people flourish. My goal is to give people choices and opportunities. Whatever people then choose is ok as long as they can actively choose it themselves.
It motivates me to see how during training people gain new awareness about themselves. A feedback I often hear is: “Thank you, you really opened my eyes today”. When I see that people start to understand things which they never understood before, it inspires me to continue.
What new possibilities do you see around you and would like to give more space to?
I have seen an increase in the interest and need for transgender awareness trainings. For the moment however this work is still on a very grassroot level. Just single training with no strategic direction. But what is emerging is the need for a longer process, guidance and framework on how to train employees and practically implement structures and a culture of inclusion that encompasses the whole spectrum of gender diversity. Employers start to see that when transgender persons are able to come out at work, it has an influence on the company because these persons become more performant as they do not have to hide anymore.
Something else I see emerging is the need for deeper leadership training. Training that taps into the essence and mindset of good leadership. Today still so many people get promoted into leadership roles with zero training in capacities and awareness on how to support others. Being able to, for example, communicate openly and give constructive feedback is very important also for advancing gender equality.
What does inclusion mean to you and how would a radical inclusion look like in your eyes?
When we talk about inclusion and diversity, we very quickly come to categories such as age, gender, race etc. Diversity goes much deeper. A farmer living in the mountains is also somehow discriminated against and needs to be better included in our current society. But when you think about inclusion and diversity this person does not first come to mind. It would be radical inclusion to me, if we manage to take more needs of minorities into consideration.
A big problem in corporate cultures is that people don't talk about feelings. Men have been socialized to think that they shouldn't have feelings and women are thought not to talk about them at work. But feelings are the gateways to needs. Being more open about feelings would enable open discussions and result in better solutions, which in turn generate more profits. Without talking about feelings and getting to the real needs of everyone involved or affected, it’s too easy to hide behind structures which are not in the best interest of the overall success of the company.
How do you embody inclusion in your everyday life?
My goal is to stand up with minorities, to try to include everyone in a conversation, and the situations I am in. One of my principles is that the majority group can learn a lot from minorities and their needs. As a very obvious example if people in wheelchairs and people with walking impediment wouldn't have fought for low floor entrance trains and trams, people with baby carriages would also suffer. I am convinced that when we include minorities so that they feel free to share their needs and the majority listens, the society as a whole will be healthier.
On a personal level, I’m a white, able bodied transgender woman married to a Jewish woman. In this way I am embodying inclusion. On a very practical level, I try to use gender neutral language in my communication and politely invite others to do so as well. My goal is an inclusive world where everyone is free to be themselves without harming anyone else.
How do you see COVID-19 affecting gender and inclusion at work?
Of course there are a lot of negative consequences. For example, the home is not a safe-space for many women nor trans people, and they experience domestic violence. Couples with kids have to home-school and do living and working in very small spaces in their apartment. On top the internet also opens new doorways for sexual harassment.
When I look at it through my own situation and field (working in adult education) I see a lot of positive aspects. Access to education gets easier and more inclusive. It gets more flexible and can fit better into existing schedules of women with various responsibilities, and it’s possible to do it from home via the internet.
If you are offering services you are not anymore locally bound and this increases opportunities. Before this situation I needed to have in-person meetings before selling workshops and services. This meant that I usually had to go through many “boys clubs” as well as come-out to the client. I did this actively out of wanting to control the narrative about me being transgender and to avoid uninformed thoughts. Now it’s ok to just have a short video-call with potential clients and that’s it. The internet enables me to stay a bit more impersonal and increase my reach. The focus is more on the skills and value I bring.
Interview conducted by Anna Krebs
Enabling ripples of positive change - Catalyst for SDG 5, facilitator and change-agent