“The Catalyst Lab has propelled me upwards – Higher than I would have ever expected.”

Jose Antonio Gordillo Martorell is the founder of Cultural Inquiry, and Catalyst from the Catalyst Lab cohort 2023–2024. With this blog post, he shares his personal experiences that have brought him to where he is now, and how the Catalyst Lab has empowered his personal growth along his journey towards change.

“Throughout my life, I have been deeply invested in communities. Only later in life have I discovered my approach to be severely flawed. The Catalyst Lab has empowered me to re-grow my roots as a changemaker.”

– Jose Antonio Gordillo Martorell, Catalyst and founder of Cultural Inquiry

Sometimes, we need to reach rock bottom to gain momentum and rise to the surface to breathe again. To achieve this, the most significant change has to occur within ourselves. From there, everything is possible.

“Go deep into until out of your depth. That’s the moment when interesting things come”

– David Bowie

Throughout my life, I have been invested and engaged in the communities in which I have lived. I wanted to contribute, connect, build, create, and facilitate to help the people around me. Margaret J. Wheatley's phrase, "No matter the problem, community is the solution," has always rang true to me.

It was only later in life, that I discovered this belief to be severely flawed – and I discovered a problem I had not been acknowledging so far. Like small stones in my shoe, the repercussions of this flawed belief had accumulated, gradually impeding my ability to walk. I had no choice but to stop, remove my shoes and spill out the stones. There I stood, contemplating all these little stones of mine, each representing something I wanted to be, believed to be, or wanted to become. The empty shoe, on the other hand, represented the restrictive compartment of what others wanted me to be.

Following my desire to help my community, I had been postponing my own needs and wishes for too long, ultimately not only hindering my ability to walk but also obstructing my positive impact by not allowing myself to tap into my full potential.

Then, one day, everything changed. Faced with a bully during a meeting near the Arctic Circle, I suddenly saw through the illusion of our supposed community. Disheartened by the lack of appreciation and camaraderie within my team, I was overcome with feelings of self-doubt. For the first time, I looked within instead of seeking external solutions, prompting a self-examination of my values: What defines my worth, my principles, and their relevance?

What I discovered didn't please me, but it became the driving force behind a transformative decision: to let go and dare to be myself. My transformation was encapsulated in the following mantra: "Love yourself, honour yourself, take care of yourself, prioritise yourself, don't forget yourself, and don't postpone yourself for anything or anyone." Little did I know that this transformation would demand significant time, the presence of others, and reconnection to my inner child, who was wandering about, pleading for a hand to hold.

 “The Catalyst Lab has propelled me upwards, higher than I would have ever expected, because it enabled me to confront my failures, fears, ghosts, delusions, shadows, and most intimate pains.” – Jose Antonio Gordillo Martorell, Catalyst and founder of Cultural Inquiry

And that's when I joined the fourth edition of collaboration helvetica’s Catalyst Lab. Like a chemical catalyst, the Catalyst Lab accelerated something that had already begun inside of me, reinforcing it, and giving it coherence and depth. Through the Catalyst Lab, my transformation gained momentum, and I was able to grow new roots, project myself into the future, and grow.

Exploring various avenues like Theory U, innovative methodologies, and unique approaches such as 3D mapping, I discovered new transformative resources, engaging with a diverse group of people, exchanging ideas, and sharing experiences. I gained a deep understanding of how systems work and learned how to observe external dynamics while maintaining self-awareness and nurturing authenticity.

“Instead of aiming to control specific challenges or situations, I learned to embrace the fluidity inherent to change and systems change work.” – Jose Antonio Gordillo Martorell, Catalyst and founder of Cultural Inquiry

On a personal level, the Catalyst Lab has ultimately provided a nurturing space, empowering me to fully embrace my journey. For the first time, words and emotions like weakness, absence, loneliness, trauma, vulnerability, frustration, anger, and pain contain all the healing power they can possess. I have been able to be who I truly am without needing to conform to others' expectations. To me, the most powerful aspect of the Catalyst Lab has therefore been its continual celebration of who we are, in the world and for the world.